


How Warm Days Go Cold

by coocoocajew



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Friends to Lovers, Lots Of Sad, M/M, Mention of kinda assisted suicide, Sad with a Happy Ending, au in which hanzo DID NOT mutilate genji, genji is 8, hanzo is 13, jesse is 12, scene is not graphic in chapter 3, they start as kids in this fic so tags will be added as i write
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-09-12 01:21:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16863598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coocoocajew/pseuds/coocoocajew
Summary: Inn which Hanzo is not the one to mutilate Genji, and not the one that asked to be taken into Talon's claws.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This fic is gonna be so long I might get writers block on several occasions so just a warning. Also: semi slow start
> 
> Also x2: I don't feel my summary is up to par with how I want the explanation for this fic to be but it is five in the morning and it's about time i put out the first chapter!
> 
> ALSO X3: This may be split up into different works for different parts of the story. Not for sure but it could happen.

Jesse couldn't understand a word Gabe and the scruffy old guy was saying. 

 

He told himself he couldn’t help it. After all, he never learned Japanese and could only somewhat read the conversation from the way Gabe’s voice would raise or lower. He let his eyes roam from Gabe’s face, to the old guy’s wrinkles, and then to their surroundings. They were hidden from public eye in the dark alley behind a ramen shop, talking business that Jesse couldn’t get a grasp on yet. Gabe’s team stayed back in the van they rented, but since Jesse didn’t really like any of those mean and slightly scary people, he put his skills to use and slipped out of the car alongside Gabe. His guardian didn’t even notice until it was too late.

 

_ “You brought a kid?” _

 

Gabe was always quick with a cover up. “He’s my apprentice. Getting the kid used to business before he’s sent off.” Jesse almost snickered at the excuse. Gabe always told Jesse that he’s bringing him along on missions because he can’t get Jesse out of his hair anyway. Also- Jesse would just sneak along and he knew Gabe knew that. So he let Gabe talk in another language while Jesse stared off into space.

 

The conversation snapped Jesse to attention when the language switched back to English.

 

“I am to assume we’ve got a deal, Reyes?”

 

Gabe sported the same smile he always had when doing dirty work. “We sure do, sir. Happy doing business with the Shimada Clan.”

 

They turned away from each other and Jesse let Gabe grab his arm to tug him along. He only let go when they got back to the van. “What in the hell do you think you’re doing, kid?” He yanked the backdoor open and shoved Jesse inside. He never was rough enough to hurt Jesse, but just to get his point across. “Do you understand how fucking dangerous that was?” Gabe strapped himself in and jerked the vehicle out of the alley. “Seriously. I can’t believe-”

 

“Oh, give it a rest, Commander.”

 

“Yeah, he’s just a kid.”

 

Jesse huffed. “I am not-”

 

“Speaking of,” Gabe spoke venomously, “What the hell were you two doing? You just- didn’t notice this guy got out and followed me to a very important meeting that could’ve fucked us over with the Shimada Clan?”

 

Jesse didn’t remember the two guys’ names. He didn’t care enough, and in Jesse’s opinion, they weren't good enough guys for their names to be remembered.

 

“Eh, we knew you’d handle it.”

 

“Well you guys scored yourselves about a month worth of sorting papers with Ana when we get back,” he kept going, ignoring the two’s groans from the punishment, “And you guys are gonna love every second of it and be at her every beck and call for this.” Jesse let out a bark of laughter.

 

“Reyes! You’re the worst!”

 

“I will seriously accept any other punishment but this one. She’s so-”

 

Jesse looked at Gabe’s razor sharp glare in the rearview mirror. “Choose your next words carefully.”

 

“...strict? Which doesn’t even begin to describe the hell you’re gonna be putting us in. And for this runt’s mistake? Come on!”

 

“Hey! I am  _ not _ a runt! I’m so sick and tired of you callin’ me that all the time!” All of Jesse’s superiors truly did bully him daily. Whether it be in good nature or bad, it always got on his nerves.

 

“Then don’t act like one, brat. What were you thinking following the Commander out there? You should know better than to-”

 

“Kyle, do you ever know when to shut your goddamn mouth?” And Gabe was always the one to save him from other people’s bullshit. “Just everyone shut your mouths until we get to the hotel. In fact, don’t talk to me or the kid until tomorrow when we go to Shimada Castle.”

 

It was a completely silent ride on the way back to where they were staying, aside from the voices on the van’s radio. Jesse just looked out the window and wished he had someone his age to talk to. Someone other than Gabe and his subordinates.

* * *

 

Another conversation at the giant gate leading to the Shimada estate practically had Jesse sleeping. It was another conversation he didn’t understand, and probably never will and he only found it in his best interests to sneak away when he could.

 

That chance was now.

 

Gabe and his minions walked away with two more Japanese men in very formal tuxes and toward the huge estate. But Jesse, being the street rat he used to be, immediately eyed up a wooden wall with a very climbable path up it. Usually a 12 year old like Jesse wouldn’t be able to climb one this high, but Jesse was also slightly more athletically skilled in that department. 

 

So up he went. Over the wall and landing down on some sand and stones on the other side. He held onto to his hat and looked up. And there were two other kids standing in what looked like a yard. One had black hair reaching a little past his shoulders, while the younger boy had his own spiked. Jesse could instantly tell that these two were brothers. The last thing Jesse got to notice about them was that their eyes were right on them and that there was a thin blade in the long haired boy’s hands. He couldn’t get a word out before the older brother spurred into action.

 

The older boy pushed his brother behind him, who immediately clutched onto his arm with a curious look, and yelled. “Who are you?! How did you get here?!” He raised his blade in both hands and got into a fighting stance.

 

“Woah woah woah! No need for that-”

 

“I will call the guards if you don’t tell me right now why you-”

 

Suddenly, a question came from the smaller boy’s mouth. “Do you want to be our friend?”

 

“Wha-”

 

The younger boy stepped out from behind his brother and bravely walked up to Jesse. He held out his hand with a confidence that Jesse couldn’t understand. If anything, he understood the other brother’s actions more. “I’m Genji! And this is my brother Hanzo.”

 

“Genji!” Hanzo hissed, “What are you-”

 

“Please be our friend and we won’t tell on you.”

 

Slowly, Jesse shook the other boy’s hand. The bright smile it brought baffled Jesse. “Uh… I’m Jesse.” He looked up from Genji and found Hanzo slightly closer and with his blade lowered. His brown eyes were trained on him very intently, as if watching for a sudden threat from Jesse, even if he didn’t have a weapon of his own. Jesse slowly held out his hand again and waited for Hanzo.

 

“As Genji said, I’m Hanzo.” Hanzo shook Jesse’s hand quickly and scanned the area. Jesse guessed for more people and he found himself nervously tugging on the rim of his hat. “Where did you come from?”

 

Jesse considered the question. He wasn’t stupid. He could put two and two together and conclude these were the Shimada siblings. Jesse also knew that Gabe was on a mission and didn’t know how much was shared with the Shimada kids, if anything was. He came up with: “My... Gabe was hired by yer family to do work for em. I’ll probably be around for awhile.”

 

“Gabriel Reyes? Is he your father?” Hanzo seemed to decide on something in his head by the tone of his voice. Jesse would have to be careful with him.

 

“Uh, yeah. Somethin’ like that.”

 

“Okay! I don't care. Let’s play something,” he tugged Jesse by the wrist further into the yard and Hanzo followed. “Hanzo says he’s getting too old for games, but I don’t believe him.”

 

“I’m standing right here.”

 

“Oh! How old are you, Jesse?”

 

Genji’s chipper attitude slightly comforted Jesse from the colder attitude from the older Shimada. “12. You?”   
  


“I’m eight! Hanzo just turned 13,” Genji stops Jesse in the middle of the yard and he takes the moment to take in his surroundings. It seems he found himself just outside of the estate. He was in an area where the garden overlooked Hanamura and it was beautiful. Jesse felt a little bad about ruining the neatness of the garden with his boots when he found his way in. 

 

But it all was forgotten when he found himself having fun with the two boys. Hanzo had opened up more with time and was letting out small, shy smiles that had Jesse’s own following. Lately, Jesse hasn’t been happy. His smiles have become rare since he was taken under Gabe’s wing. But for some reason Hanzo and Genji’s cheerful smiles and laughter had his own coming out. It felt like Jesse could be here forever. Smiling and playing with the two and being able to act his age. 

 

Good thing he’ll be in Hanamura for a few months.

* * *

 

After a few weeks of getting to know the Shimada brothers (and several harsh lectures from Gabe), Jesse found himself almost daily in their garden and playing with the two. Today, they were painting the drawings Hanzo made them for their kites. It was a beautiful day, and Hanzo told Jesse that this was a very therapeutic and relaxing. Jesse needed more ways to relax.

 

“You know, Hanzo,” Genji started while he tried, as carefully as he could, to paint inside the lines Hanzo drew for him on his kite, “Mother says that frowning so much will make you unhappy forever! And I don’t want that for you.”

 

Hanzo let out a fond chuckle at Genji’s words and looked up from where he was painting a very beautiful blue dragon on his kite. Or  _ tako _ as Jesse picked up, or hoped he picked up correctly. “Mother was being dramatic. I don’t frown all the time. It is my natural face.” 

 

“Well your natural face sucks!” Jesse let out a laugh at Genji. Hanzo bristled slightly, but left his irritation alone. He favored being able to peacefully paint with his brother and new friend than to get into another useless argument. He looked up from his own drawing of his detailed dragon,  _ very  _ detailed he was proud to add, and took a peek at Jesse’s.

 

“You are drawing… a horse?”

 

Jesse grinned and moved back so Hanzo could see more. “Sure am. I called her Francine back at home.”

 

“Francine? What kind of name is that for a horse?” Hanzo rose an eyebrow. Jesse somehow found it elegant looking.

 

“A good kinda name,” Jesse huffed. He looked from Hanzo down to his drawing. “So,” he urged.

 

“So?”

 

Jesse smiled. “What’s yer dragon’s name?”

 

“Name? As if I’d name a drawing. That’s quite childish.”

 

“Oh yeah?” Jesse hummed, “Genji. What’s yer dragon’s name?” 

 

“ _ Doragon _ !” Genji smiled brightly and Jesse noticed he had a missing tooth.

 

“I- uh… don’t know what that means, partner.”

 

“It means dragon. Very creative, Genji.”

 

Genji gasped in mock shock and pointed at Hanzo. Jesse already knew Genji would have this type of personality when he grew up. “I’d like to see you do better!”

 

“I won’t do something so childish like-”

 

“Alright, pretend you were childish. What would your dragon’s name be then?” Jesse reasoned.

 

Hanzo gave him a hard look and seemed to consider Jesse’s words. He then looked down to his unfinished colored dragon and said, “ _ Kigai _ . Strong spirit.” He glanced up at Jesse, found the other was very intently looking at him, then quickly looked back down and returned to finish giving his dragon colors.

 

“That’s a real nice name. Not childish but still nice.” Jesse leaned back and rested against the wood of what he’d like to call the Shimada family’s porch.

 

“Thank you.” Hanzo let his hair fall from behind his ear so it hid the slight blush he had on his face. It didn’t, but Jesse didn’t tell him that. He just let his head fall back and closed his eyes. He brought a hand up and pulled the rim of his hat over his eyes so that the sun was blocked out.

 

He woke up a little later from Genji shaking his shoulders and his hat being pulled off his face.

 

“Jesse. Come on, come on, come on! Let’s go fly our kites!” Jesse opened his eyes to see Genji smiling excitedly down and to Hanzo standing back a bit and watching with a smile of his own. Jesse sat up and lightly pushed Genji off him.

 

“Alright, alright,” he yawned, “I’m up.” Genji giggled and pulled on Jesse’s wrist to drag him into the large garden. 

 

“Hanzo, please hurry up. I can’t wait any longer!” Genji whined as he watched Hanzo make sure the strings were correctly attached to their reels. When Hanzo held out Genji’s kite in his hand, the little brother practically tore it from him and pranced away from the older two a bit. “Hurry!”

 

Jesse heard Hanzo let out a quiet laugh at his brother’s excitement. “He’s real good entertainment, huh?”

 

“Most days, yes. That is when he doesn’t get on my nerves.” Hanzo said to Jesse. Then he looked back at Genji and sighed at the sight of his brother tapping his foot impatiently at him. “We should start now so that doesn’t happen.” He said that low to Jesse and leaned in just a bit. Jesse’s heart skipped a beat but he won’t admit it to anyone.

 

“I hear ya.”

 

When they joined Genji, there was no wait in getting their kites in the air. Jesse thought they were beautiful. The summer sun shining bright illuminated the variety of colors the kites had on the. Hanzo and Genji’s dragons flew close together while Jesse’s horse lingered behind a bit. The light breeze cooled the kids off as they watched their kites dance. Eventually though, it had to end. The breeze had let up and it’s like the air had gone still. Genji groaned in frustration as their kites fell to the ground. 

 

“Why did it have to end so soon?!”

 

Jesse chuckled and ruffled the younger boy’s hair. “How long did you wanna stay out here? It’s hotter than he-” He froze at Hanzo’s hard stare. “It’s hotter than California out here.”

 

“California? I’ve never been there.” Genji seemed to cling onto the new topic. “Where’s that? Is it nice? Does it have ramen and kites too? Why is it so hot?”

 

“Uh…” 

 

Hanzo saved Jesse from the barrage of questions. “It’s okay, Genji. Next time we’ll fly our carp kites. It will be much more fun.”

 

Genji let out a loud, and in Hanzo’s opinion, exaggerated, gasp. At Jesse’s confused face, he turned on Jesse and began rapidly explaining the design of kites to Jesse. Hanzo had pity for the other boy, but left him to go clean up the kites. When he stood up, he caught sight of a figure beyond the doorway leading to the porch. It was his father.

 

Hanzo felt his stomach jump and heart sink. His father was giving him a firm and hard stare. Hanzo felt in the back of his mind that it felt cold. Almost foreboding. He noticed that next to his father was one of the elders, speaking rapidly in his father’s ear, clearly harsh and secretive. Hanzo gulped at the sight and when his father nodded in response to the elder’s words, he knew he was in trouble. He could practically already hear his father's stern and disappointed tone, lecturing and scolding him. Saying his name with that cold and-

 

“Hanzo!”

 

He turned around to find Jesse and Genji waiting for him and facing another entrance inside. “Yes?”

 

“You comin’? I’m gonna teach you and Genji some soccer.”

 

Genji let out a happy cheer. “Yes! Come on, it sounds like so much fun.”

 

Hanzo looked back at where his father was one more time. He and the elder weren’t there anymore. He shoved down the ache and heavy lump in his throat and turned back to the other boys. Hanzo let out a shaky breath and walked towards Jesse and Genji. “Yes, let’s go.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long time because life has been hell
> 
> But I have a chapter for you guys!! Hopefully another should come soon!

It has been two months since Jesse arrived from… honestly Hanzo couldn’t remember anymore. The days have melted together with the hot sun and time has flown by. So much has happened in the past two months that Hanzo felt like it’s been a year.

 

With Jesse’s arrival, they have spent almost every day together. And with Genji. Hanzo is now being instructed on how to use a bow, which he clearly is showing off to Jesse and Genji, and Mother has returned from the hospital. 

 

Today, the two siblings will visit her in bed. Hanzo is sure the Genji doesn’t know the full extent of her condition, and knows he is completely happy to be seeing her. Not to say Hanzo isn’t happy to see his mother again, but he knows there is something extremely wrong. She was supposed to stay in the hospital for a few more months. Now she’s here, without warning, still sick.

 

Hanzo supposes he knows what’s happening, but he tries to keep it off his mind as he and Genji run through the hals to see their mother. They are both carrying the kites they made with Jesse. When they reach the end of the hall and attempt to turn right, they run straight into an elder.

 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Hanzo immediately opens his mouth to apologize, but the man stops him. “How would you feel if I told your father that his future heir is running around like a mad dog? How do you think he would react, Hanzo? Disgraceful.”

 

“I apologize, sir,” Hanzo looks to his left to see Genji leaning back and forward on his heels, getting ready to run again. Hanzo shoots him a look that says “don’t you dare”, but Genji does it anyway. His little brother pushes past the elder who doesn’t say a thing. He continues to stare down at Hanzo.

 

“You’re excused, boy. Do not let me see that despicable act again, or there will be consequences.”

 

Hanzo nods and gives a quick bow. He steps past the elder and turns to continue going down the hallway. He puts a hand up to his heart and lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He walks quickly to catch up with his brother and finds the open door leaking out light and laughter. He hears his mother’s voice. His heart clenches painfully and tears rush to his eyes. Slowly he creeps into the doorway and looks.

 

Genji has climbed onto the bed she was staying in and speaking animatedly about the kite he colored. Mother has a smile on her face that looks both soft and pained at the same time. As soon as he nears her vision, she looks up from Genji and says, “I have missed you, darling.”

 

Hanzo almost trips trying to run to her. He stumbles over Genji’s shoes and launches himself into her open arms. Hanzo stuffs his face into her neck. “I missed you too.”

 

“I know, my love. I have been gone for too long.” She looks at them and holds both of their cheeks. Hanzo reaches up to cup her hand and smiles. She smiles back and says “You both have gotten so big! It’s like I’ve been gone for years.”

 

“Only for one, mama!” Genji corrects her.

 

She looks to him with her eyebrows raised. “Well now. Is someone getting smart with his mother?” She reaches forward and tugs him into her lap and shoves her fingers into his sides. Immediately, Genji lets out a loud giggle. Hanzo adjusts himself on the side of the bed and smiles along with his mother. “To think! Your poor mother returns to see her beloved babies, and one of which only want to be smart with her! What’s she to do?”   
  


Genji lets out a mix between a laugh and a scoff. “She could start by not tickling me!”

 

Mother lets out a laugh of her own. “You have your father’s fire, my little bird.” She pulls Genji against her chest and turns to Hanzo. “He doesn’t talk like this to your father, does he?” Hanzo almost forgot to answer. He was lost in the greyish-blue eyes he’s missed so much.

 

“Unfortunately, yes.”

 

“Oh dear.”

 

She reaches one hand forward and brushes the hair out of Hanzo’s eyes. “Has no one given you a haircut this who year?”

 

“I wanted you to do it when you got back.”

 

“Well aren’t you the sweetest thing?”

 

Hanzo smiles, “I’m afraid I am.” He laughs along with her.

 

“Where did you two pick up such an attitude?”

 

Genji perked up from her chest and jumped in. “Jesse taught us!”

 

Hanzo immediately startles and shushes him harshly. Genji realizes what he said and covers his mouth, as if that will make it better. They both slowly look to their mother’s face who has an eyebrow raised. “Who’s Jesse?”

 

“Um… I don’t really want to say.”

 

“Go shut the door and windows, Hanzo. It’s time that I catch up to your lives.”

 

So Hanzo catches her up. He tells her about Jesse finding his way into their yard by accident. He tells her about how they instantly became friends with him and made the kites they brought her with him. He tells her how he taught them to play American games and American words. Hanzo told her about how Jesse’s father was Gabriel Reyes and gulped as her eyes squinted just a bit.

 

“Well, that does explain it.”

 

“What do you mean, Mother?”

 

“I am friends with Gabriel. We have known each other for a very long time. In fact I consider him my greatest friend in all my years.” Mother chuckles, “You say he has a son? Jesse?”

 

“Yeah! That’s what Jesse said,” Genji answered. 

 

“Hm,” Mother raised a brow, “I wonder if he’s married Jack then.”

 

“Jack? Who’s Jack?”

 

“Ah, too long of a story. Maybe next time I’ll tell it. Hanzo, open the windows?” She let out a loud cough. When Hanzo opened his mouth to ask if she was okay, Mother waved a hand in dismissal and looked down at Genji. “Oh! Is that a missing tooth I see?”

 

Genji abruptly sat up and began loudly detailing the time and place he lost another tooth. Hanzo sighed and stood up to open the windows. As the breeze came in, he could also hear voices. He leant a bit more out the window and saw his father talking to two men a bit down in the yard.

 

“She doesn’t have much time left, sir. Even three days is too generous for her condition. Perhaps we should discuss it with the lady herself?”

 

Father let out a grunt. “This will be fine. She doesn’t need to take care of her own funeral.”

 

Hanzo froze.

 

Her  _ funeral _ ?

 

His hands started to shake and he pulled them up to his chest. He tried his best to let out soft, even breaths. Hanzo glanced back to see Genji still distracting Mother. He took this chance to look around. The room was bare of any kind of personality or belongings. She wasn’t planning on staying in here for long. He looked to the dresser on his left and saw a note.

 

_ Hanamura’s Finest Cremation and Funeral Services _ .

 

Hanzo felt dizzy but snapped back to attention when he heard his mother respond to Genji’s loud yawn. “You’re tired aren’t you, my little bird?”

 

“Yes, Mother.”

 

“Run along and get ready for bed then. I’ll come to see you before you go to bed.”

 

Genji nodded and slipped off the bed. He ran past his abandoned shoes and disappeared into the hall, the door shutting behind him. Hanzo heard his mother sigh and let out a cough. “Hanzo, aren’t you getting-”

 

“You’re going to die.”

 

He turned around to see the shock on his mother’s face. He grabbed the paper off the dresser and held it up. She shut her eyes and frowned. His mother let out a soft sound and pat the vacated spot next to her. Hanzo slowly walked over and sat down. She pulled him against her roughly and let out a soft hum. “Yes, baby. I’m dying.”

 

Hanzo choked on his breath and pushed his forehead into her shoulder. He sniffed and let out a soft sob. “Why? Why are you-” He couldn’t continue.

 

Mother put a hand against his scalp and pet his hair softly. “Sshh.” She rocked him lightly. “I’m too sick, honey. You weren’t supposed to find out this way.”

 

“I don’t understand!” Hanzo cried.

 

“The world is too wild and uncontrollable to even try to understand, my sweet. But I need you to listen to me now.” She softly pushed Hanzo into a sitting position and held his cheeks. She found his eyes and brushed hair behind his ears. “You need to know that people are going to do bad things to you. You need to understand that this is inevitable. You need to understand that you’re going to lose people. Hanzo, my love, at some point you may think you’ve lost your way. But someday there will be people who light up your path and turn you in the right direction. What I need you to do is be prepared for when the bad things happen.”   


  
“But why will they happen, Mother?” he couldn’t catch his breath, “I don’t understa-”   
  


“You can’t understand!” they both started at the coughing fit that violent shook her body. After it passed, she held a hand up to his cheek and stroked under his eye. “You will never be able to understand the world and why fate does the things it does. You can only deal with it when it comes. That’s why you need to listen hard to what I am going to tell you.” Hanzo nodded in response.

 

“Down the hill behind our yard, there is that river. Yes?” Hanzo nodded again. “There is a boat hidden in the brush to the left of the wooden pole if you’re facing our home. It is there for one use only. If you were to need it, never take it back here. The river will carry you past Hanamura and into the next city. You won’t be able to turn back because the current will be too strong. If you need to use it, you will never be able to come back here. If you need it, you never  _ should _ come back here. Okay?” When tears started to fall out of Hanzo’s again, she pulled his chin back up to her. “Okay, baby?”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Good,” she pulled him against her and rubbed his back and head slowly, “Good, my sweet. But I need you to do one more thing.”

 

He looked up at her. “What is it?”

 

“I need you to memorize all exits here. All ways out. I also need you to memorize all low profile exits from Hanamura. I  _ need _ you to do that, okay?”

 

“Yes, Mother.”

 

He felt her breath hiccup with a sob. “I love you and Genji so, so much.”

 

“We love you too.” Their arms tightened around each other. After a long time of maybe their last hug, she pushed him back. She gave his forehead a good and long kiss and smiled down at him. Hanzo thought he will never forget her sparkling eyes. “Go off to bed then. I’m going to go see your brother.”

 

Hanzo slowly got up and tried to strengthen his numb legs. “Okay, Mother.”

 

“Goodnight, my love. I love you.”

 

“I love you too.”

 

He turned and left the room. He felt like he was on autopilot walking back to his bedroom. When he got in, he immediately locked the door and fell to his knees. Hanzo felt like he couldn’t cry anymore so he tried to get back up. He cried out when he just fell back down. He slammed his fists on the floor and bit into his arm to stifle his wail. After a few minutes of crying, he wobbled into standing up and stumbled to his bookcase. Yanking out a book his mother had gotten him a year years ago, he tried to find the map of Hanamura that was included in it. He sat at his desk and began to circle all exits and detail all alleys he could use. He found the river behind his home and circled the general area near where the boat would be.

 

Hanzo leaned back after spending hours memorizing and studying as much as he could. He looked out the window and saw the sun was beginning to come up. He stood and walked to the window, pushing it open and letting the chilling air in. He leaned his head against the windowsill and waited for the morning to come. And it seemed not long after, he heard shouts in the hallway. The housekeepers were running down the hall and shouting. “ _ Get Mr. Shimada _ ” one cried out and “ _ Mrs. Shimada isn’t waking up _ ” another one shouted.

 

But Hanzo had truly run out of tears. He couldn’t bring any more emotion out, he had gotten it all out through the night.

 

He turned around when his door opened and light footsteps entered. Genji was standing there, tears running down his cheeks but he was silent. Hanzo had nothing to say for his little brother. No words of comfort for the person he always told himself he’d protect. He turned back to the window and listened as Genji climbed into his bed. The sheets rustled for a moment, and then there were soft, unmistakable sobs. Hanzo felt so useless. He couldn't help Genji.

 

All he could do was sit through the morning and wait until someone came to tell them when the funeral was.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sadness and sass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! Big WARNING:
> 
> If you don't like the concept of assisted suicide or suicide itself, you may not want to read the flashback that'll be in italics. It's not graphic but it does basically tell you what happens. There will be a not at the end that's a summary of what happens.
> 
> Other than that, I had a sudden spark of inspiration and just had to write. I hope you enjoy! I'm really excited for what's to come!!

_ The letter was finally complete. She sighed and leant back in the chair at her desk. She then glanced to the window and listened closely. Silence. She picked the letter up, slipped it into an envelope, and walked to the window. She wrote one last thing, a neat “G”, and reached up to the wooden wind chimes that hung outside her window. The noise she made was practiced and perfected for this night. Over two years of practice. The noise alerted the footsteps she expected from the yard. A man in a suit, who was supposed to work for the Shimadas bowed to her. _

 

_ “Please deliver this without any delay.” He nodded and bowed again, then walked off. _

 

_ She looked down. She watched the condensation of the water from the hot air slide down the glass. Even the night had such hot air. She ran her hands up and down it, trying to cool off. Despite the heat, it was such a peaceful night. She had just finished her talk with her sons and she was finally at peace. But like any other day, there was always something to interrupt that calm and content. _

 

_ “Sojiro.” _

 

_ She turned away from the window and stared down her husband. Lover was not the right word for the two of them. All love they had for each other, _ true _ love, has gone. Deep inside she still loved the part of him that loved her back, but that man is not here anymore.  _

 

_ “How could you tell it was me?” _

 

_ “Your steps have always been the same. You’re loud, careless. And you Shimadas call yourselves ninjas.” She scoffed when she watched his brow crease in irritation. “Come now, you’ve never been one to take insults to heart. Your ego’s too big!” She laughed as she watched his arms cross. She walked towards him with a sly smile. “In fact, I think it’s bigger than the last time I saw you.” _

 

_ “I think your mouth has gotten bigger as well.” _

 

_ She snapped her fingers, knowing this was the response she’d get. “There’s the Sojiro that I know from years ago.” _

 

_ “I’m still the same, my love-” _

 

_ “Oh, spare me the theatrics. You changed, I changed, everyone changed. We’re not in love anymore, Sojiro. As long as we know this, we don’t have to lie. There’s no point.” She shrugged when she saw he was eyeing her down. She also knew the look he was giving her. Impending doom, she used to call it. “I know why you’re here.” _

 

_ “Do you?” _

 

_ “Yes,” she turns back to the window and looked out at the setting sun, “It’s my time to go.” _

 

_ Sojiro was quiet for a moment and then stepped up next to her. He didn’t touch her, he never did anymore, so she wasn’t surprised. What she was surprised about was his tone. “Indeed. It’s your time.” _

 

_ “What’s going to happen to our sons?” _

 

_ Sojiro cleared his throat, as if he was about to recite a well crafted speech. “Hanzo will start his training as heir as a daily job. He will learn how to use weapons, both physical and mental. The elders will assign him to his own missions that he will carry out alone.” _

 

_ “All work and no play, huh?” she shook her head slightly, “And Genji?” _ __   
  


_ She saw Sojiro raise a brow out of the corner of her eye. “Genji will grow up and have less intense training. He will not join Hanzo on any of his missions and will be sent to primary school. Hanzo will have his own personally selected teachers for him to be taught here.” _

 

_ She spun on him fast. “Tell me you’re joking.” _ __   
  


_ “I am not.” _

 

_ “You’re going to kill him. That’s not how you raise a child, Sojiro.” _

 

_ His body language changed very quickly. She watched as his arms fell and his hands curled into fists. He puffed out his chest and said “Hanzo is going to be raised as a heir.” _

 

_ “As a  _ slave _!” _

 

_ “How dare you-” She slapped him across the cheek when he stepped towards her. His look of shock was met with fire. _

 

_ “That is my son.  _ Your  _ son. You’re telling me that he is going to grow up without friends, and the only people he will know is you, Genji, and the elders that torture him?” She groaned in frustration. “He is still a child! You’re going to have a child learn to kill that quickly? What if he ends up getting killed? What happens then? Your second choice, who will have no training, will be crushed by the pressure and you will not have a heir. Have you thought that through, asshole?” _

 

_ They were both quiet for a few seconds, then she let out a huff and went to sit on the bed. Her throat burned and she felt a lump there too, but she wouldn’t show any kind of weakness to Sojiro. After another few seconds, footsteps approached the bed and he sat down next to her. She put her head in her hands and asked “What happened to us? To our family?” _

 

_ “I’m not sure. It’s been too long.” She nods in defeat, knowing she won’t get anything else out of him. “I have not seen that much fire in you in a very long time.” _

 

_ “Since before I went away, huh?” _

 

_ Sojiro let out a very small grunt, “Before that.” More silence. _

 

_ “I brought those boys into this world with my own hands. No one is going to kill them that quickly. Someday, they will die, but not when they haven’t even reached 20. You can kill me or leave me to die, it’s the same thing-” she saw his head turn towards her and his look of shock was laughable “don’t give me that face, Sojiro. I know what’s going on. I have for awhile now. I was always a liability and I’m the only thing stopping those boys from being turned into slaves.” She looked him in the eye. “I will die, but when I’m gone, _ no one _ is going to harm a hair on either of those boys’ heads. Either of your  _ sons’ _ heads. Do you understand me, Sojiro?” _

 

_ “Yes, I do.” _

 

_ “Good.” She held out her hand expectantly. Sojiro placed the small tablet in her hand. She looked down at the pill. “What is it?” _

 

_ “In kinder words, it is a sleeping pill.” _

 

_ She hummed dismissively and stood up the get the glass of water from her window sill. She listened as he also stood and made his way out. _

 

_ “I wish I didn’t stop loving you.” _

 

_ She wanted to cry. Sojiro has not shown his true thoughts and emotions in so long. He shocked her yet again in her final hours. But she can’t let him know she’s not strong anymore. _

 

_ “I wish you hadn’t to begin with,” she gulped down her tears and hoped he couldn’t hear the slight crack in her voice. “But then I wouldn’t have had my babies. So thank you for helping me bring those precious lives into this world.” She turned back to look at him but couldn’t look him in the eye. His back was turned. “Don’t let them die.” One last request. _

 

_ “Goodbye, Kimiko.” _

 

_ Turmoil. _

 

_ “Goodbye, Sojiro.” _

 

_ She turned away and waited for the door to shut. She rubbed a hand against her throat and hummed. It was too late to change anything. All Kimiko had to do was hope that Hanzo learned well from her final words. Knew when it was his time to act. _

 

_ With that, came acceptance. One thing she always had trouble with. But she smiled now as she watched the sun disappear over the mountains. It was time to go. She placed the pill on her tongue and brought the glass to her lips. She swallowed. _

 

_ Acceptance. _

* * *

 

Jesse didn’t get to talk to the Shimada brothers before, during, or after the funeral service. He couldn’t run to comfort the crying youngest brother, or the older one that was so tense it looked like would explode at any moment. It hurt him to stay by Gabe’s side and watch. One thing that confused him though, was the vacant emotion in both Sojiro and Hanzo. He gathered from things that Hanzo told him that his mother and father were not on the best terms, but this still surprised him. Especially Hanzo.

 

But still, Jesse didn’t get the chance to ask. He had to wait until a week later to even get into the Castle gardens. Gabe has held him back from going, because he knew something too apparently. Everyone knew something that Jesse didn’t, and he was sick of it. So when he did get the chance to find someone that could help him, it was just the right person.

 

He had climbed into the gardens again and made quick but careful steps around the Castle and followed a trail that Genji and Hanzo taught him to follow if he got lost. The sound of loud arguing stopped him in his tracks though. He leaned slightly towards the window and zeroed in one the words.

 

“Sir, I really don’t think it’s a good time for the young-”

 

“It is time.” Sojiro.

 

“He just lost his mother,” a tense pause, “if I might be so bold to point out.”

 

“That is bold. You would do well to not be bold like that again.”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

With that, the conversation ended so Jesse continued on his way. Quicker now. When he made it to his destination, he knocked three times on the wooden sliding door. Almost immediately, it slid open and Genji greeted him.

 

“Jesse!” He sprung into the older boy’s arms and laughed.

 

“Hey,” he spun Genji once and set him back down. He used a quiet tone “How ya doin’?”

 

Genji’s happy demeanor dwindled a bit but not completely. “Okay, I guess. Why are you here?”

 

“I have to talk to ya. But we need to be quiet, okay?” Genji nodded and Jesse stepped in. He closed the door behind him and walked to the door to the hall. After peaking his head out, seeing no one, he closed it. “Genji. You gotta tell me what’s goin’ on, bud.”

 

Genji tilted his head in confusion. “With my day?”   
  


“No, no. With your family. Hanzo, specifically. Where is he?”

 

This sparked Genji’s thoughts up. “Oh! Well Hanzo hasn’t played with me in awhile.”

 

“Why’s that?”

 

“I’m not too sure,” Genji scratched his cheek, “Father said it was heir training and so did the elders. But I haven’t seen him since…”

 

“Yeah, I got ya.” Jesse sat Genji down. “Can you tell me about what you talked with Hanzo about last?”

 

“Well, it was when we went to see Mom. He was really happy! But after we sent her to heaven, he didn't talk.” That wasn’t good. When something bothered Hanzo, he let you  _ know _ . “He also has combat training everyday now!”

 

“Combat training? For what?”

 

Genji shrugged, “Dad said it’s for a job, but I don’t know what job. All I know is that he has it everyday in the gardens at two until eight. I remember because that used to be my playtime with Hanzo!” She crossed his arms and let out a big huff. “You now, Jesse, I don’t think Hanzo wants to do that training anyway! He doesn’t look like he enjoys it very much.”

 

Jesse’s brow creased in thought. He looked to the door to outside then back to Genji. “Who does Hanzo train with?”

 

“His trainer. But sometimes she doesn’t teach him. Since it’s three right now, she’s eating lunch.”

 

“How would ya like to see yer brother, Genji?”

 

Genji’s eyes lit up and a sparkling smile crept across his face. Jesse smiled at the sight of the missing tooth. He held out his hand and lead Genji through the sliding door. They rushed down the path to where Hanzo trained and reached the corner approaching the area. There was Hanzo. He held a bow in his arms, back straight, arms straight, and face blank. Jesse could see the sheen of sweat from where he was. It was so hot out today, and Hanzo was expected to do six hours a day? Hanzo unleashed an arrow that whistled through the air and thunked onto a target a good distance away. Almost hit the target right in the middle. Jesse took a step forward, opening his mouth but stopped when he saw Hanzo wasn’t alone. 

  
“Han-” Jesse slapped a hand of Genji’s mouth and pulled him behind the wall. When the silence ended, and the thunk of arrows continued, another voice joined the noise.

 

“Chin up, boy. Back straight. That’s a weapon in your hands, not a toy..” He watched as Hanzo straightened his posture even further and unleashed another arrow. Same distance away from the middle. “Again!”

 

And, “Again!” Another, “Again.”

 

Jesse sighed in relief when Hanzo ran out of arrows. He heard her sigh as Hanzo turned around to look at her. Jesse thought to himself, how was it possible to look so emotionless but also have so much attitude in your face at the same time? Only Hanzo could do that. “Go get your arrows and start all over again. I’m going to go get lunch. You’ll have lunch when you hit the target spot on.” With that, she left.

 

They watched in silence and in shock at what they witnessed. It was sickeningly strict training. They watched as Hanzo walked carefully to the target with purpose in his step. They watched as he pulled arrow after arrow out of the target. They watched as he let out a yell and slammed one against the target, cracking it and making it fall to the ground. Silence.

 

“Hanzo?” 

 

Hanzo and Jesse both turned to look at Genji, who quiet and desperate voice startled them. He started a dash across the yard and wrapped his arms around Hanzo’s neck. “That lady was so mean to you! What a mean lady!” Genji was crying pitifully. Jesse slowly followed.

 

Hanzo looked confused, and then slowly unwinded Genji arms from his neck. “It’s okay, Genji. She’s my teacher. She has to be strict.” Genji shook his head furiously.

 

“No, she bullied you! I won’t let her bully my big brother!” He jumped into Hanzo’s arms again. Hanzo sighed and slowly pet his hair. He then looked up to Jesse to greet him but Jesse was already joining in on the hug. He tensed up and tried very hard to not move his head where it was on Jesse’s shoulder.

 

“I’m sorry, Hanzo.” Hanzo let out a small sound and shoved his face into Jesse’s shoulder.

 

“Where have you been?” Hanzo breathed against Jesse’s neck, who tried very hard not to lose his composure.

 

“I should be askin’ you that ya know,” the hug ended and he looked into Hanzo’s eyes closely. They were red and he had very dark bags under his eyes. It looked like he hasn’t had good sleep in a long time. Somehow, he still looked put together. Always perfect. Hanzo furrowed his brows at him in question. Jesse quickly dropped his hands and put them on his hips. “How long is she usually gone for?”

 

“About… 45 minutes. Why?”

 

“Because-” Jesse picked up Hanzo’s bow and a few arrows, “We’re gonna hit that target.”

 

Hanzo looked doubly confused and Genji shrieked in excitement. “I really don’t think-”   
  


Jesse cut him off by holding the target in front of Hanzo’s face. “Sorry, what was that? I can’t hear ya over our impending success.” He walked off, a cheering Genji in tow, and Hanzo begrudgingly following.

 

They spent 15 minutes on telling Hanzo to straighten up, cheering him on and encouraging him. After Hanzo finally got that down, they worked on his shooting. Arrow after arrow hit the target, but none hit the exact middle. It took another 15 minutes for Hanzo to hit it. When it finally happened-

 

“HANZO! You did it!” Genji was screaming so loudly that Jesse wouldn’t be surprised if the whole city came running to see what was going on. 

 

Hanzo turned to smile at his brother and Jesse. The smile was brilliant. Happy with his success and relieved. It made Jesse’s heart clench, but he pushed it aside to congratulate Hanzo. 

 

“How about we get you something to eat now?” Jesse turned to Genji and winked, “What’s Hanzo’s favorite snack?”

 

Genji grimaced. “Carrots.”

 

Hanzo looked offended. “Carrots are good for you.”

 

“Go and grab some for him.” Genji groaned and complained about the walking, but he happily strutted off with his own little task. Hanzo chuckled at the sight.

 

“You’ve got him wrapped around your finger, don’t you?”

 

Jesse gave him a smug smile which Hanzo scoffed at. “A little talent of mine. Not hard ya know?”

 

“Oh, I know,” Hanzo laughed. He bent down to pick up another arrow but Jesse whacked it out of his hand. “Excuse you?” He said, not truly upset.

 

“No more shootin’. It’s break time.”

 

“Break time.”

 

“Yup,” Jesse marches off to a tall tree overlooking the river down the hill. He looked back and motioned for Hanzo to join him. Slowly, Hanzo did. They sat down next to each other in silence. 

 

Jesse secretly watched as Hanzo scanned the area. It confused him. He repeated the same movement over and over again. Look down the hill, slightly right, a pause, then down the river. He saw his lips move as he looked down at the stairs that lead to the water. Jesse realized he was counting them.

 

“Why are you doin’ that?”

 

Hanzo looked up at him, embarrassed that he was caught. “Doing what?”

 

“Counting,” Jesse struggled with the right word. “Studying.” He waited for Hanzo‘s response as he watched him start the process all over again. Then Hanzo looked to him suddenly.

 

“I can trust you. Right, Jesse?”

 

Jesse was very confused but also figured he was about to get the answer to what he’s been wondering about all week. “Always.”

 

Hanzo took a deep breath. “My mother told me that before she died something very bad was going to happen. I think the beginning of it is starting.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Hanzo paused in thought. “I think- I think my mom was murdered.”

 

“What?!” 

 

Hanzo jumped to cover Jesse’s mouth. “Sshh! It’s very important that you stay quiet.” Slowly, he dropped his hands.

 

“What the hell are you talking about?” Jesse immediately asked, “I thought she died from her sickness.”

 

The other boy nodded. “I think she was going to, but someone made it quicker. I think it was Father.”

 

“Your dad?!” Jesse hissed. Hanzo gave him a look and Jesse leaned his head against the tree. “You’re sure?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Your dad killed your mom.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“And now something tragic is gonna happen.”

 

Hanzo sighed, “Yes, Jesse, but I’m not done talking yet.” Jesse turned his focus back to Hanzo. Surprisingly, he didn’t look anxious or sad. He looked curious. Jesse supposed that if he kept it in this long, it was gonna come out eventually. Hanzo was the type of person to deal with it calmly too. “She told me to memorize all exits. Down at the river, there’s a hidden boat. The current will take it all the way into the next city and she told me that when the times comes, I’ll know that it’s my only and last chance out.”

 

“Okay… so why do you think it’s starting.?

 

“Ever since Mother died, people have gotten even more cold than before. I was allowed to spend time with Genji before, but now I can’t at all. I barely see anyone besides my teachers. Father never visits. I always see at least four of the elders giving me very dark looks during my days. It feels… foreboding. I feel like this is just the start and it’s gonna get way worse.”

 

Jesse frowned in thought. “So, did she tell ya how to deal with it when it starts?”

 

Hanzo shook his head. “I don’t think she had the time.”

 

Jesse nodded and turned to him. He nudged Hanzo with his shoulder. “Ya know, I can maybe get Gabe to look into it.”

 

Hanzo looked to him in shock. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

 

“I disagree!” Hanzo snickered at him, “Gabe’s not completely loyal anyways. He’s be like our inside man.” When Hanzo still didn’t look convinced, Jesse continued. “Think about it. You can’t deal with it all on your own. You need help for when it happens! Gabe’s really good at this stuff.”

 

Hanzo looked like he was considering it. “How can I trust him?”

 

“Because you trust me.” Jesse looked at Hanzo hard. Eventually, Hanzo gave in.

 

“Okay.”

 

“Okay!” Jesse pulled Hanzo up and put his hands on his shoulders. “At eight thirty, you, me, an’ Genji are gonna go see him.”

 

“Why Genji?”

 

Jesse shook his shoulders lightly. “Genji needs to know too.”

 

He could tell Hanzo doubted that. “He’s still too young.”

 

“Aren’t you a little young to be slavin’ away in this heat?” Hanzo still looked doubtful. “Listen, Gabe taught me a lot of things at Genji’s age. Things I can understand perfectly now. It’ll be the same for Genji. He needs to be able to understand when things get hairy, alright?”

 

Hanzo sighed, “Fine. We’ll see Gabriel.”

 

Jesse cringed at his full name. “Yeah, just use Gabe.”

 

“But that’s not polite.”

 

“He ain’t a polite guy.”

 

They were interrupted by Genji calling out to them. He ran into the garden and rushed to them. “She’s coming. Mean lady’s coming!”

 

Jesse grabbed the carrots from Genji’s hand and shoved them into Hanzo’s robe. “You can sneak em’.” He then turned away and went with Genji to hide behind the wall where the spectated before.

 

Hanzo sighed and bent to pick up his bow. He walked to the same spot he’s been practicing and got in position. He noticed that the arrow that hit the target spot on was still there.

 

“I see.” He turned to look at his trainer. She had a brow raised and a frown on her face. “I expect you want a break now?”

 

“Yes, ma’am.”

 

“But-“ she cut in sharply, “How do I know you didn’t just plant it there? Kid your age can get sick of this real quick? It’s also easy for you kids to throw tantrums. With the way you’ve been acting this week, I’m not surprised honestly. I bet your Father would be though. What would happen if I went and told him?”

 

Hanzo was sick of it.

 

He straightened his arms and steadied the bow. He took a deep breath and let his arrow fly. It whistles through the air and hit the target’s point. In fact, it even went through the other arrow that was already there.

 

He let out a silent sigh of relief and dropped his arms. He turned to his trainer who had a look of shock on her face. He swung his bow around his body and started walking.

 

“I’ll be sure to let him know that I was successful with my practice.”

 

He walked past her and when he stepped inside and felt his body immediately cool, he smiled. Hanzo continues walking to the kitchen to grab his lunch. He reached into his robe and bit down on a carrot.

 

Yeah, he could deal with this. He just has to act like Mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SUMMARY OF FLASHBACK:
> 
> This happens after the talk with Hanzo and Genji. The mother, Kimiko (we now know), has one of Sojiro's men working for her. That man delivers a letter she wrote for someone titled G. A heated argument between the mom and dad about Hanzo's new daily regimen. It's very intense and he will be isolated. We also find out that Sojiro came to give her a pill that will put her to sleep. She takes this pill after they're done talking about their failed love and marriage. Scene ends before she actually dies.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it so far. If you have any problems with the Japanese words I use or find any mistakes, please leave a comment! Very appreciated.
> 
> And if you wanna reach me you can find me on tumblr (before it falls off the face of the earth) @http://coo-coo-ca-jew.tumblr.com/
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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